Understand This

Do you understand that I'm in love with you

Don't trip if right now I can't answer the phone
Cause you know that soon I'll be coming home

Gone Since November

Omigod...6months away? Has it really been THAT long. Where was i? Was i too busy? Where was i??

What's the point of having a blog when i don't post anything frequently? What's the whole damn point?

Last year wasnt a good year for me..lots of ups and downs..mostly downs. Ok, who am i kidding, the downs overshadowed the ups..so i more or less i had no ups..just downs. I think i cried the most last year, i got all pissed and angry(the kind where u think you're gonna have a heart attack) the most too, not to mentioned getting disappointed and heartbroken and hurt and all those other bad bad feelings(oh yeah, u think 6months took away all my emo-ness?its still there alive and kicking). yeah, so i went thru all those last year.

this year....this year i still feel as above but a lil' lesser, milder, not to the point of having a seizure(hey!!!that rhymed!!!darn i'm good!)

AND!!!...And i'm still pretty much in love. Ok not pretty much..it's more like love overload. It has been 2 years and 2 months and the fire is still burning red hot with...with..something that's equivalent to red hot and burning.

Oh yea, i'm now back in miri, finally working. He is in KL working too. One in miri and the other in KL. i wonder how are we gonna survive..i mean how is the relationship gonna survive the distance. It's bad enough that we have trust issues..being far apart is not gonna help it. But i guess if it does work out and if everything ends up well and good and happy...then i guess we are meant for each other. (jiwang moment)

Schoolboy Crush

Someone called me and told me that he met and had a chat with Yasmin Ahmad. That Someone sounded so ecstatic and giggly and a lil out of breathe. He even took a picture with her and told her that he was a fan. He did mention that he and his girlfriend loved her movies, though.

Happy and giggly..that was what he sounded like on the phone. Like a school boy who just had an encounter with his crush.

Haaah...my boyfriend can be so cute sometimes...

Surprise!!!

her - .....so what r u doing now yang?

him - ..tgh duduk, wondering whether u miss me or not

her - wonder if i miss u or not ke tgh duduk tengok tv yang?

him - tak tengok tv la..still lapar or not yang?

Rriingg rriiinngg!!

her : "Yang, i tengah nak reply your msg la ni"

him : "Yang! i'm in skudai already..kat Shell"

her: Yeeaaaaayyyyy Yiippeeeediiiiiidoooooodaaayyy!!!!!!!!!!!


He lied to her. Told her that he will be visiting her on Saturday. Instead he was already on his way to see her on Thursday. Sometimes, it's not bad being lied to..especially when it involves a surprise. A good surprise.

Taskbar is blue


Hey look at my blog...it reads "A product of my lame bla bla bla..bla bla..bla blaa..."

After going thru my previous posts, my blog should be described as "A blog of an emo person who keeps on ranting about her love life and her boyfriend and her love life over and over again as if there is nothing more than love in life and she is always sad and misearable"

What happened to sarcasm?and humour?and more sarcasm and humour?

What happened to me? <---look there she goes again with her emo-ness me me me me

My readers..wait a minute..i dont have any readers, at least not anymore*there were at least 6 or 5..ok,ok just 2..maybe* after i pulled on the emo crap on them.

So in other words, i'm just writing to myself..not only am i the owner of this blog, im the reader as well.

Not that i don't have anything interesting to blog about..other than my pityful emo crap of oh does he love me, why am i hurting, why am i misearable..why why why..love love love..sux sux sux.. i do have interesting things to write about..but i am just plain lazy!

Yes i am lazy...lazy lazy lazy..lazy to finish up my work, lazy to finish my thesis, lazy to buy food when i'm hungry, lazy to wake up in the morning, lazy to take out my contacts before i sleep and lazy to do other things which requires me to not be lazy.

But, i'm not lazy when it comes to lighting up my cigarette, buying things which i don't need, going clubbing and getting pissed drunk, watching tv, surfing the internet reading other people's blog and i still do take showers ok..ive not reached to being disgustingly lazy.

A few days ago, while i was driving back, the car in front of me suddenly swerve to the left avoiding something in front..as i follow suit, i saw what was the car trying to avoid..a tiny lil kitten was on the road with its jaw totally smashed and it was lying there helplessly with his hind leg kicking..the tiny thing was in pain..then as i looked through my rearview mirror, the poor kitty stopped kicking..it was dead.

I felt awful after that..it was just a little kitten..and it died in such a tragic way..poor kitty. Ok, now i feel bad again.

A Perfect Reminder

I got this from blackjetta.blogspot.com (if she came up with this by herself, she is a GENIUS)

Thanks to her, i will always keep these rules in mind.


1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

2. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

3. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

6. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

7. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

8. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself later for staying when things are not better.

9. The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.

10. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

11. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

12. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

13. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

14. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

15. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

16. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

17. Never let a man define who you are.

18. Never borrow someone else's man.

19. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

20. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

21. NOT all men are dogs.

22. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

23. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

24. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

25. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

26. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

27. Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Read This


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend.

You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,“..that’s her.”


I agree with this post. I think it makes sense and we should follow it.

But the funny thing is, after reading it, i've not found that guy described above. I am that person.

To me he is beautiful
He hangs up and i will just keep calling again
I'd rather stay awake and watch him sleep because just closing my eyes would mean that i won't get to see his face till the next day
I would kiss not only his forehead but his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his cheeks
He looks perfect to me in whatever he wears, may it be outdated or ugly
Having his hand in mine comforts me

But does he even know that i might be the one?
Does he know that everytime he hurts me, i just keep going back to him?
That the more he pushes me away, i just hold on to him even tighter?
No matter how hard i cry because of him, i still manage to wipe back my tears and tell him that i love him.

For all these posts i've put up in here, i hope that he will read them thoroughly instead of just browsing through.

I said Pictures!!!

Ok, i uploaded a bunch of pictures in my previous post and one measly picture just turned up. Why???

Let me try again.... Pictures!!!

Gone In July

No entries for the month of July.

Reason no.1 : Was busy during the first couple of weeks

Reason no.2: Went back to home-sweet-home (Miri!!) after those first coupla weeks

Didnt have time to log in or even blog while i was in miri coz i had a busy schedule hehehe. Busy catching up with my good good fun fun closest bestest most coolest friends who are all, unfortunately, working in Miri (except for Jill who has become this human TV giude at home) sorry Jill but u know and i know that it's true.

Anyway, Miri was fun till the end. I went sun-bathing and splashing around at the beach a few times till my skin turned dark and burnt. Didn't really party hard at the club though. I just got pissed drunk once and puked my guts out at a nearby playground. Too bad for the kids who were looking forward to play the next day hehehe.

We checked into Marriot and had an awesome silly Girls' Nite In. Pictures are in a cd somewhere. Will upload them as soon as i get the cd.

Summary of our Girls' Nite In:

Arrived. Take pictures. Jump on beds. Have a few vodka shots.Take more pictures. Jump off beds. Take pictures again. More vodka shots. Get into bikinis and head straight to pool. Had pizza and chicken wings. Fell in love with blue cheese. Went back to room. Take more pictures. Some more vodka shots. Take shower. Jump on bed. Take more pictures. More shots. More picutres. Submarine. Vodka. Submarine. Vodka. Pictures. Supper. Submarine. Vodka. Bed.

Next day, we were tossed and drained. Will post some more entires about Miri. Now ladies and gentlemen, let's give way to pictures!!!

WooHooo Friday

Yeeaaayy!!! It's friday it's friday *doing crazy dance* After 2weeks away from the loft and my whiskey coke and redbull vodka and fantabulous rockin' music, im finally going back to "recharge" with the usual suspects, Ade and Baba and hopefully my high school classmate and former misfit Kingsley will be able to join us tonight.

Lalalalala luululululu....lalalallaalalalala loolooolooolloooloo....

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